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Why is it so hard to keep promises to yourself?

healthy behaviours mindset weight loss Jul 03, 2023

Do you ever stop to consider the impact of not keeping promises to yourself? 

Imagine having a romantic partner who constantly lies, fails to show up, and hides the truth from you. Over time, the trust in that relationship would erode, and their character would be seen as untrustworthy. 

We wouldn't tolerate such behavior, would we? Surprisingly, we often subject ourselves to similar treatment.

Every day, we make promises to ourselves—promises to exercise, resist temptations, go to bed on time, and more. Yet, how often do we follow through on these commitments? 

Just as we wouldn't tolerate a partner who consistently broke their promises, we must recognize the damaging effects of not following through on commitments we make to ourselves. Our behavior patterns often become self-fulfilling prophecies, reinforcing the belief that we lack integrity and eroding our self-confidence.

As an obesity physician and certified coach, I've witnessed how a lack of self-integrity affects our personal growth and weight loss journey. So, let's explore the 5 key lessons and strategies to honor our commitments and cultivate self-trust:


  • Understanding the Importance of Self-Integrity


In our daily lives, we often excel at fulfilling promises to others but struggle to keep them for ourselves. This discrepancy can result from various factors, such as being a people-pleaser or neglecting self-care. However, failing to honor commitments to ourselves can erode trust, confidence, and self-esteem, ultimately hindering personal growth. Just as we wouldn't tolerate a partner who consistently lied or broke promises, we must recognize the impact of our own actions on our relationship with ourselves.



  • Identifying the Origins of Self-Distrust


To address the issue of not keeping promises to ourselves, we must examine its roots. Childhood experiences, traumas, or societal pressures may contribute to developing people-pleasing tendencies. Understanding the underlying causes helps us navigate the path toward self-empowerment. It's essential not to dwell on blame or judgment but rather to focus on healing and transformation.



  • Repairing the Relationship with Yourself


Repairing the relationship with oneself begins with being brutally honest. We can't embark on personal transformation while deceiving ourselves. Taking full ownership and 100% responsibility for our lives is the foundation of change. Embracing extreme ownership, as coined by Jocko Willink, means recognizing that we are in control of our journey and have the power to make a difference.



  • Cultivating Self-Compassion and Realistic Goal-Setting


Instead of falling into the trap of self-shame and judgment, we need to approach ourselves with self-compassion. This means being kind, understanding, and forgiving when we fall short of our promises. Simultaneously, it's crucial to set realistic goals. Unrealistic expectations often lead to failure and perpetuate the belief that we cannot keep our commitments. By cutting our goals in half or starting with small, achievable steps, we build a solid foundation for success.



  • Finding Compelling Reasons and Assessing Past Challenges


To sustain our commitment, we must identify the reasons behind our promises. What motivates us to make these commitments to ourselves? Finding strong, meaningful reasons fuels our dedication. Additionally, reflecting on past challenges and learning from them helps us navigate potential roadblocks. Instead of judging ourselves for previous failures, we should approach them as opportunities for growth and adjustment.

Keeping promises to ourselves is a vital aspect of personal empowerment and well-being. By understanding the significance of self-integrity, exploring the origins of self-distrust, and repairing the relationship with ourselves, we can embark on a transformative journey. Cultivating self-compassion, setting realistic goals, and finding compelling reasons to honor our commitments empower us to break the cycle of not keeping promises. Remember, you have the power to create positive change in your life. Take ownership, be kind to yourself, and start taking small, intentional steps toward a healthier, more fulfilled existence.

Join me in my latest podcast episode where we will break the patterns that have held us back, and instead, forge a new path towards honoring our commitments and achieving our goals. Together, we'll create a foundation of trust and integrity, leading to a healthier, more fulfilled life beyond the scale.

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